Yes, we have all had ‘those’ experiences when flying somewhere on a plane that make you wonder how people have been brought up by their parents: loud and rude, obviously a lot of yelling in their homes; stinky feet, body odour, over-the-top liberal application of cheap perfume and bad breath, not a lot of hygiene being taught at a young age; pushing in front of people when queued, the poor souls must suffer from a fear of being left behind; and the list goes on. Common courtesy can fly out the window when travelers board at the same time, creating quite a bit of stress for some people, especially if you have a habit of suffering from FOMO. Maybe flight attendants should be handing out copies of the satirical Miss Manners’ Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior by Judith Martin, first published in 1982, to everyone before boarding.

Below is a list of unsaid, but very much thought about, rules of etiquette for flying to avoid being ‘that’ person committing mid-air faux pas:

Boarding: There’s no need to push, invade people’s space, or tread on the heel of the person in front when queueing to get on the plane. Seriously, the flight will not depart without you if you are waiting patiently at the boarding gate—no guarantee for those not at the right boarding gate though.

  • Find your seat (if in doubt about the seat number, or someone has taken your seat, hopefully by mistake), check with the air steward as they are there to help you.
  • Sit down quickly after stowing your larger bag in the overhead bin—don’t block the aisle while you're sorting through your bag; do that before you get on.

Armrest Covenant: The sacred spiritual pledge for who gets the armrest.

  • The aisle seat: you get the aisle-side armrest and the freedom to stretch your legs after takeoff or flee to the bathroom when needed without disturbing the co-passengers in the same row.
  • The middle seat: which is the short straw for many souls, as you are the equivalent of a human sandwich. You have the privilege of being squished between two bodies (hopefully not big ones, and heaven help you if you are a female stuck between two males intent on manscaping). Your compensation is both armrests either side of you unless you choose to share—but that is your call.
  • The window seat: you only get the wall to lean on and hopefully your co-passenger will let you have one armrest, as there isn’t an armrest under the window. This is your penalty for wanting a seat with a view. Window seaters also need super strong bladders to avoid annoying the other passengers in the row by having to ask permission to go to the toilet, a bit like putting your hand up in primary school asking a teacher’s permission.

Calling Out Bad Manners on Planes - The Wise Traveller - Man with feet up

Personal Space: Don’t get in someone else’s face.

  • Keep to your little world: feet, legs, hands and arms belong in your own seat area with no spillage into your neighbor’s space; that includes wedging your feet up between the seats in front of you, which is a big ‘no-no’ especially if you have smelly feet or your socks are rank; it’s impolite to share your toes on a flight. In other words, don’t spread out like you’re on your own couch at home. And the seat in front of you is not a thumping or punching bag to be abused by your child, or if you happen to be in a bad mood.
  • No one wants your hair: it doesn’t matter how much you love your flowing locks; other people don't want your hair falling over the headrest behind onto their tray table or screen in front of them. That passenger isn't going to braid your hair, and they don't want nits as the protein in their meal.
  • Reclining Rules: On short hops, it shouldn’t be necessary, but on long overhaul flights, before reclining your seat, be aware of the person behind you. Do not recline your seat when drinks or meals are magically appearing, unless you have a desire to be chastised by the flight attendant, or abused by the passenger behind you.

Scratching and Stinking: Personal hygiene matters when playing sardines in a tin.

  • Be aware of your own body odor. Do you smell fresh, or like you’ve been on a garlic-and-alcohol binge?
  • Scratching any part of your body shamelessly is not on anywhere in public.
  • Avoid strong colognes or perfumes unless you don’t mind the passengers beside you having sneezing fits.
  • If you BYO food, spare your co-passengers the need to vomit from pungent aromas such as tuna, egg or spicy curry.
  • And, if you need to expel some nasty wind from your rear, please do not stay sitting in your seat and let everyone else stew in your funky miasma.

Electronic Devices: Put in your earplugs!

No one wants to know which movie, music, podcast, or voice message you are listening to.

Following airplane etiquette allows you to survive being cramped in a small space, usually for hours, without losing your sanity or causing mass carnage in the air.

Gail Palethorpe, a self proclaimed Australian gypsy, is a freelance writer, photographer and eternal traveller. Check out her website Gail Palethorpe Photography and her Shutterstock profile.